"Oh, voiceless; wasted: You've soaked your heart in gasoline, now light it up and burn"

"The scene is begging for a prayer tonight, it always will"

I've been thinking about 'begging' lately. I'm not sure why. It seems a concept we aren't used to in America. I mean, the idea of being on your knees and asking for something isn't too hard to fathom, but the thought of actually doing it is kinda cheesy. So what exactly would you be willing to get down low and cry, rage over? In places less fortunate, begging for life, mercy, release, justice, etc.. isn't a rare thing: it's a daily thing. So to me, begging reminds of a point of poverty, failure, captivity, slavery, etc.. NOTHING good. I think it would be good to experience a time where begging is necessary.

One other thought lately is about unity, or community. Socialism.
I LOVE (remember about how I only use love when referring to intimacy) getting with other people to eat, play music, play games, talk, socialize. It drives me (similarly to the way music drives me)

One final thought is about suicide. I find it amazing how the rate of suicide went up since the 'stock market doom of 09' - Japan is now at 100 a day. I can't even imagine why one would loathe anything so much as to take the aggression out on himself. I am not (or have not, rather) been immune to the ideas of committing suicide, but never to the point of acting on it (I weigh all options anyway, but rarely act on any of them; I like to know every angle of every thing) So for those of you plotting, please don't, cause it makes me sad.

Something we were talking about a while back was the way we relate to people. One of those ways is through failures. So I encourage you to express said failures, for 2 results are becoming of release: Connectivity and Relaxation.

Refreshing

I had a neat time with my grand mother this morning. We had talked a bit on Sunday night about writing music together, something I have been trying to work out since the end of the semester. We talked a lot about music and differences in generations. And I got to eat lots of Swedish Pancakes.
-I'll make a note now that I anticipated an unspoken understanding, and that was a bad assumption. I want to write music that is NOT worship; NOT for Christian people. I think people take that as "Sam doesn't want to be a safe, good Christian and stick to the safe places" and thats almost it exactly. Art made a comment the other day that almost sounded like an excuse to not be involved with the *sinners* of the world, something to the effect of "if you hang out with bad people, you will turn into a bad person." In a way, he's right. But he is also way wrong. He did redeem himself after that by saying that we have to be anchored to Christ before being involved with others. Meh, I say. I'll also note that I hate "Christian Phrases" and therefore go to great lengths to keep from saying them.
So I don't like getting stuck in the "Christian Book Store" and using the "Christian Dictionary" as a guide for my vocabulary.-

I began reading the book "Wild Goose Chase" by Mark Batterson. I found my purpose in life: Nomad! I don't want to stay in one place too long.

I want to live dangerously. I want to be in the fray. I want to have hard times and work through them. I want to have a purpose beyond being part of a club and getting more people to join said club.

I will make people feel uncomfortable. It's time things were shaken.