I've come to realize that coffee is best when enjoyed slowly, as opposed to a double iced latte in 3 minutes. I can imagine where it would be fine if /some/ people drank espresso on a regular basis (namely Italians and Patrick) but for the average good, bad and ugly American, a cup of brewed coffee is best. I happen to be one of those Americans. But don't let me fool you into thinking I have realized the error my ways and repented. God made the good and the bad, right? Helloooooooo indulgence.
I've been rockin out on my electric guitar. Finally bought those strings (for a whole $5) and a cheap amp from Walmart (on sale for $15) and a strap that doesn't say "Rock the heck On, Man!!" All in all I think I made out good, only spending about $30 and now having a functional electric guitar, with which I can make sick slides and riffs or melodious choruses. Ah.. diversity.
So I think the common expected thing from my blogs sometimes includes a challenge for all ye who believe. This week, we're gonna think about idle time. "We've got, got nothin but time on our hands, got nothin but, got nothin but.." I wish I could say every day of my life is perfectly executed; that I made the absolute best use of my time at every second. I think it's harder to ignore those times where we think, "oh yeah, that was definitely [insert amount of time] of my life that I'll never get back" than we think. And even harder still is how we then go about resolving that guilt we feel, if at all. Since getting this job at Bonefish Grill, I've been pretty much non-people. I work late hours, which makes me sleep late hours, which keeps me from doing much stuff.
It even drove me to the point of anger. The other night I was told by my immediate manager that he would, 'help me get out early tonight' which in turn never happened and I actually got stuck with more work than I ever had in a single night, and also missed the ferry. I was in a pretty foul mood for about 20 hours. It affected my sleep, I said some unkind things to completely unrelated people. It wasn't pretty. But something in me got back right when I was with people again. Part of my problem was loneliness. Work alone. Ferry wait alone. Drive home alone. No one awake at home. Wake up alone. Eat breakfast alone. Drive to the Center alone. All that alone time gave me time to THINK about how mad I was and get even worse. I thought sleeping it off might help, but it didn't really. When I finally got to people, I started out in a bad mood, which wasn't fair to them.
I read that people that have a significantly relationship with someone else have a similar chemical released in the brain as when you do cocaine. And even on just seeing a picture of that person, dopamine is released in the brain. I guess you could say that's part of my aid. I got to a familiar place, familiar faces, and after some time there I felt better. Then I got to work and was given the night off. That was all I needed to get me back up. I was seriously in fear of developing some sort of anxiety disorder, so much so that I talked to my mom about it. I never complain about personal stuff, at least I didn't till I started this job. I think it's something I am becoming able to handle. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and only 4 to break one. I am currently on day 19.
I have several times this week given God credit for the tasks I have had to do and the strength I've had to do them. I would suggest learning how to trust God.
