I can always be glad I don't have credit card debt

Haven't had coffee in a while, so this morning I drank some. It's actually a funny story. See, my dad goes to work sometime around 2am. Tuesday morning, dad left a few minutes before 2, and I got home a few minutes after 2. So while I was moping around and getting ready for bed when I noticed the coffee pot was still on and quite full. So, being that I don't like to let good stuff go to waste, I poured it all into a pitcher and put it in the fridge for iced coffee. Which was actually really good. So, shortly after I got to sleep, my mom gets up and starts her day. This morning when we all got back together and were talking, it played out that mom and dad make a pot of coffee for both to share over the course of the morning, and I came in the middle to "save" it. They also sent funny txts to each other talking about the coffee being gone. So maybe this whole thing is just an htbtm.

I finished the book "The Survivors Club" and also took the test that the author helped design to show what kind of survivor you are. It reminded me of Strengths Finder. I am apparently a thinker. ... haha..

I'm looking into getting a new phone. I think my mom said my contract ends sometime in August as well as my dad's. I still want something that is a smartphone, but don't have the money for something fancy. So I noticed the Palm Pixi. Guess I have a few months to think about it.

So I'm getting slightly used to working at Bonefish. It still seems like every night I work I get pushed to my limit. I think the one thing I don't like the most is the limited interaction with other people. Now, I mean I do get to talk to people, but it's almost always like this: _expo_"Mac-n-cheese! / Edamame! / Spring Mix!" _me_"heard"
And of course I get to BS with some random people, but it's not like any other job I've done where I can actually talk to someone about anything other than the last two hours and the next two hours to come. I am much more of an interpersonal person and don't like working alone. Guess theres a season for everything.

So I'm working with Access 2003 these days, trying to get proficient. It's actually been a very easy program to learn and play with, and I've had absolutely zero question of how to do things with it yet. Everything is so incredibly logical, and as long as you understand the terms used you can flow through it like whoa.
I remember talking to Libby's son at the memorial service for Bob. He said he works with Access at his job and that it's really easy once you get the front end up and running. Boy is he right. At the time I wasn't even looking at Access (or any database software for that matter) and actually had quite the daunting feeling about it. Now, it's like, meh.

I've had a little more time with my parents lately this past week or so. I like it. We actually interact with each other like normal people, which I guess hasn't necessarily been the case forever. It's not like we've had this eternal feud or anything, but it's more like the concept of 'mom and dad' wasn't the way it should be to me. And I think I am starting to value them more than just the people that tell me to do chores and make me go to bed on time. And dad would say, "Well I've been telling you this for years!" - and I can say that's true. But it's just that some things you /have/ to experience to truly get the full understanding of. I always narrowly look at life as almost cause-and-effect style, where everything is a formula and if you don't want the bad stuff just don't forget to cut the grass or something. But it's so much deeper and richer than that, and I can see how God developed life to be more than just a set of rules and "have-to's" - it's a thriving system of enjoyment through the knowledge of hard work and pain. You simply can't enjoy vacation if you never have to work. You can't enjoy health if you don't realize how valuable it is.
Here my dog is next to me. All he knows in life is sleep, eat, outside, sniff, pee, poop, inside, sniff, scratch, sleep, scratch, sniff, outside, inside, scratch, sleep, repeat. And he loves it. -- But we aren't animals.

In the bible, God gives a day of rest - we know it as the Sabbath day. At the time, the people who were told to observe this day were Israelites: the ones that escaped the slavery in Egypt. The Israelites had built an image of themselves through the years; they were taught that their value, their self-worth, their life, was based in how much they could produce, how hard they could work. This concept of a day of rest was to remind them that God doesn't value you more or less by the amount you produce: it transcends human expectation and understanding to a level where he loves you for BEING. The day of rest is a reminder that you weren't made to be a machine.
So while God did make a day of rest, he also made labor - the other 6 days of the week where you work. I've noticed that almost EVERYTHING that ever has an opinion has basically three options: person 1's view (extreme 1), person 2's view (extreme 2) and God's view (oddly perfect compromise) -- God balanced life so wonderfully.

Time for some music

Weblog; isn't that short for "blah blah blah"?

I've come to realize that coffee is best when enjoyed slowly, as opposed to a double iced latte in 3 minutes. I can imagine where it would be fine if /some/ people drank espresso on a regular basis (namely Italians and Patrick) but for the average good, bad and ugly American, a cup of brewed coffee is best. I happen to be one of those Americans. But don't let me fool you into thinking I have realized the error my ways and repented. God made the good and the bad, right? Helloooooooo indulgence.

I've been rockin out on my electric guitar. Finally bought those strings (for a whole $5) and a cheap amp from Walmart (on sale for $15) and a strap that doesn't say "Rock the heck On, Man!!" All in all I think I made out good, only spending about $30 and now having a functional electric guitar, with which I can make sick slides and riffs or melodious choruses. Ah.. diversity.

So I think the common expected thing from my blogs sometimes includes a challenge for all ye who believe. This week, we're gonna think about idle time. "We've got, got nothin but time on our hands, got nothin but, got nothin but.." I wish I could say every day of my life is perfectly executed; that I made the absolute best use of my time at every second. I think it's harder to ignore those times where we think, "oh yeah, that was definitely [insert amount of time] of my life that I'll never get back" than we think. And even harder still is how we then go about resolving that guilt we feel, if at all. Since getting this job at Bonefish Grill, I've been pretty much non-people. I work late hours, which makes me sleep late hours, which keeps me from doing much stuff.

It even drove me to the point of anger. The other night I was told by my immediate manager that he would, 'help me get out early tonight' which in turn never happened and I actually got stuck with more work than I ever had in a single night, and also missed the ferry. I was in a pretty foul mood for about 20 hours. It affected my sleep, I said some unkind things to completely unrelated people. It wasn't pretty. But something in me got back right when I was with people again. Part of my problem was loneliness. Work alone. Ferry wait alone. Drive home alone. No one awake at home. Wake up alone. Eat breakfast alone. Drive to the Center alone. All that alone time gave me time to THINK about how mad I was and get even worse. I thought sleeping it off might help, but it didn't really. When I finally got to people, I started out in a bad mood, which wasn't fair to them.

I read that people that have a significantly relationship with someone else have a similar chemical released in the brain as when you do cocaine. And even on just seeing a picture of that person, dopamine is released in the brain. I guess you could say that's part of my aid. I got to a familiar place, familiar faces, and after some time there I felt better. Then I got to work and was given the night off. That was all I needed to get me back up. I was seriously in fear of developing some sort of anxiety disorder, so much so that I talked to my mom about it. I never complain about personal stuff, at least I didn't till I started this job. I think it's something I am becoming able to handle. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and only 4 to break one. I am currently on day 19.

I have several times this week given God credit for the tasks I have had to do and the strength I've had to do them. I would suggest learning how to trust God.