Déjà vu?

I feel slightly like I am back in the same place I was about a year or two ago. I have this incredible sense of adventure.. I also feel like I am forced to decide among many uncertain choices that will shape my life for a while. Obviously college is a butt no matter what, especially the financial aspect of things. I am not one for taking loans, and it seems that's the way things go these days.

One of the other concerns I have is the lack of guidance. I didn't get the 'pick your classes' experience that they give in high school, so I am still expecting to see a pretty well defined path to take, but it's like everyone wants to pass the buck and not make an executive decision for me. I enjoy having options, but sometimes it's just much easier to say 'yes sir' and go to class. I'm sure if I understood the system it wouldn't be so hard. And I'm sure the system isn't all that complicated. This is what happens when you have someone willing to learn but no one to lead.

And don't take any of this as blowing off your ideas if you've ever advised me. I just want to see all the options, not just the ones you have experience with.

You could say I am uncomfortable, and when I am uncomfortable, I typically dive right in and try to get as involved as possible so I can be comfortable. It didn't work with the college thing, and now I feel like an idiot, and am still uncomfortable with it. *INAPPROPRIATE MOMENT ALERT* It's like having sex for the first time and getting it wrong. Only one person knows it didn't work, and you don't feel successful at all. For a man, thats a blow to the nads.

I have the opportunity to attend Pensacola Christian College this fall and next spring. I might capitalize on that offer. I could use the distance from what I know; from what I've known since birth. I talked with Jackson V the other day and he was such an inspiration to my desires to not stay home forever. I mentioned how I am a home-body, and he replied, "So was I, until I left." I look forward to actually getting away for a while. I haven't been many miles from home for more than a day in over 3 years. That says to me, "Get out, you buffoon." Thanks, Jack :)