I made a deal with God / Therapy

It's been 1/3 of a year since I've written anything. I thought of it as a break, maybe a recuperation period. And I also thought of it as a fearful time, uncertain that I had value or validity. I'm sticking with the first one, and I made a deal with God that I would write this for today.

Let me start by saying Happy Birthday to my sister, Sarah. I love you :)

One of the least-liked tasks at my house is clearing the yard of the leaves during the fall. This year, as I was taking classes for college and running the Center a lot and being a lazy bum who never went home before 10pm, mom did most of the leaf removal. At one point, she actually hurt herself and couldn't do it anymore. So I thought, "Oh, no big deal, it's not like there's much of the year left" and planned to keep up with them. Somehow that didn't happen (haha, yeah..). This past week there was a lot of precipitation, and thus the leaves HAD to go. I somewhat dreaded the task, mostly cause I didn't have much time for it. My schedule opened up suddenly and I had a whole morning to work on it. And I did. In those moments, where I'm working on the yard or home projects, I get to think a lot and feel a lot. I listen to music. I get lost in another world and the time just flies by. Before I know it, I'm done with my job.

I want to touch on this bit about music. "This is just therapy.. let's call it was it is.. and that makes God the only one who's left here listening." Those are the words to Relient K's "Therapy" - one of the many tracks to come across my ears during this crisp morning leaf extraction. What it really comes down to is the heaviness. I crave something heavy and manly. I want to have a goal, something to live for, and fight to win. The next song, "Storm the Gates of Hell" by Demon Hunter is one of those songs that just make you want to kick some ass. "Raise the lifeless, Dies to fight this, Stand beside me, Storm the gates of hell"

I encourage you to find your therapy. A lot of people get paid to tell you what to do for therapy, and most of the time it's just doing something you would normally not want to do (but really need to do).

On another note, I really love chai. I finally got an Oregon Chai shirt to match my hat. If you drank one cup of chai every day, you would be a happier person.

kthnxbye