speak

Have you ever noticed that when someone stands to speak, usually If they aren't a regular public speaker, that they start with 1) some scrutiny of their physical appearance 2) troubles they had while in preparation of the items being covered in their speech, and 3) their first reaction to being asked to speak. It goes like this:

--“Good morning. I was on the way in this morning, and this is slightly funny, but I found that my tie was on backwards. So, when [person] asked me to speak, I was [insert emotion]. And while getting things together for this, I encountered [problem].”

It's depreciating of themselves, so that you are not looking forward to something all that great.





On the flip side, we have those over-enthusiastic speakers that don't really write well, they just deliver well. When they speak, it starts like this:

--“Hey everyone! Isn't it a great day? Even if it isn't, we're gonna have a good time. How many of you...”

Those people get you all pumped and then can't follow through. So either way you end up leaving kinda like “huh?”

On the occasion you encounter an awesome speaker, you'll know right away. It works just like music and books: a smooth, enticing introduction, great substance, a slight left-hook, finishing with a closing that leaves you better than before and craving more.

I stick to a concept: people are stronger at some things than others.
In America, we try to round everyone out.

When God made us, he made us versatile but designed for a purpose – NOT to be like everyone else.

Get in coordination with God.
Start paying attention to what He has made you for.
Ask questions.
Focus on being the best of the best.

embuscade

I haven't been writing much lately, haven't been documenting much of anything at all. Since I was about to quit Bonefish I was so stressed out and not interested in taking notes anymore. I had missed about 2 months of church, which was a big promoter of note taking for me.

So lets recap on my last few months of life.

Heidi and I are officially together. Guess that's not too hard to believe.

I quit Bonefish and was hired at Relay Electric. They're out of Suffolk and do work everywhere in Southeast VA. Currently just a 'helper' but will be starting an apprenticeship this coming year. Looking forward to that. I've learned so much already and its only been 2 months. Don't even get me started on how much better it is than Bonefish.. WOW.

Just turned 20. Its pretty awesome.

When I went to renew my license the woman at DMV told me I /really/ needed a new photo. Apparently men change significantly between the ages of 15 and 20.

Just took a trip to Belle Isle again. Every time I go there I'm happy.. It's quite difficult to feel like I spent enough time there. Theres something about the rapids that just ease your mind and body. The waters are cool and the sun is hot.

I think I may have narrowed down on the cause of not writing so much. I'd rather talk about stuff than type. I have thought for a long time to try getting something like the Dragon Speech to Text software. It's a bit expensive though, and that's the only reason I haven't bought it. Not saying I'd write a whole lot more just because I could say it out loud instead of hitting keys, but I would certainly be more direct in my thinking patterns. Probably would mean a whole lot more editing, since I'd ramble on and on..

Currently listening to The House That Fire Built by Mae. So excited to go see them in concert Nov 27 at the NorVa. Been over a year since I last saw them perform. That last concert was in VA Beach. I just recently went back there for Heidi Mirz' wedding. Was doing the video for it. She got married on the beach, in front of the Ocean Beach Club (something like 35th St.)
I absolutely love the beach. That whole day was so beautiful. The weather was amazing. The air felt so refreshing and pure. We did the wedding, went up to the room for a toast, and then to Catch 31 for dinner. Fine-dining seafood, if you're not familiar. Which isn't /too/ bad for me, but Heidi is not a very big proponent for seafood. Luckily they served other stuff, like chicken. I had the Caesar salad with chicken, which was probably the best dressing on a salad I've ever had. Heidi Mirz gave me the second of 2 crab-stuffed flounder cakes. I'm usually not one for crab meat, but this was exceptionally not traditional crabby flavored crab, and the whole package was so tender and moist. The sauce on top was also top-notch, some buttery creamy goodness..

So, to this day, something haunts me about a blog I posted. In the blog I quoted a song by Switchfoot, to which the quote was so terribly not correct and I made no effort to correct it. I can't believe how bad that turned out..
"In this life you're the one place I call home. In this life, you're the feeling I belong. In this life you're the flower and the thorn. You're everything that's fair in love and war"
-Head Over Heels (Switchfoot)

Music maintains a huge role in my life. Not playing as much as I would like, but then again I never have the opportunity to jam with anyone. Ethan and I had tried a few things with MowkyCowskie, which was crazy fun since they are both really talented guitarists. I think Ethan has a creative mind and would love to see him capitalize on those skills.
I myself am not that creative with music. I can wrap it up and flip it down, but when it comes to writing original stuff, that's just not me. More of a producer. I have a natural ability to hear talent. And not much makes me happier than a track or album that's had every bit of effort poured over it until it was as smooth as possible. Some albums would include Mae's The Everglow, Sherwood's Qu, and The Decemberists' The Crane Wife.

I just had the second cup of coffee tonight, and it was the second cup in a long time.

Heidi and I discovered Berry Body, a frozen yogurt shop (which currently only has 3 locations, one in the Governors Green Shopping Center, best known for Rt 5 Farm Fresh in Williamsburg). I've had 2 chances to indulge there, and both times were rather nice. They;re simple - only 3 flavors, and like 20 different toppings, but it's supposedly all natural ingredients and healthy for you. Tastes good.

Going to La Hacienda. Time to get my Mexican on

Belle Isle

Meander your way to South 5th street in Richmond, and follow the signs to Brown Island. Take a right at the T-Intersection, and pass the war memorial. Park just before the main bridge, and walk across the suspension bridge to Belle Isle. This is where Heidi and I spent Monday. One of the best days in a long, long time.

Back in the early 1800's to 1900's, Belle Isle was used for a number of things, including factories used to create tanks and cars, handle raw steel, and even create electricity. Though everything is now either missing, rotten or rusted, the amazing level of history is still in tact. I think the most common use of the island now is leisure activity. There are trails for bike riding or hiking, rapids for kayaks and tubes, and massive, smooth stones creating the riverbed, where one can relax and listen to the water.

I have been to Belle Isle three or four times already, but each time only explored a little of the island. I'm not sure it is still so much an 'island' anymore, but if the definition of island is, as Merriam-Webster defines it, “an isolated group or area,” then Belle Isle is certainly isolated, though no longer surrounded by water. At the head of the isle, the part most upstream, a dam was built to divert water to the south side of the island, where the VEPCO Hydroelectric Power Generating Plant had 3 turbines powered by the water, which in turn powered the trolley system in south Richmond from 1904-1963. In 1963, a hurricane broke part of the dam on the north side, and the flow was restored entirely to the north and has been that way since.

The other two structures left on the isle are a Rolling, Milling and Slitting Manufactory, where scrap iron was forged into nails, wire and horseshoes, famous in the South; and the factory for vehicles. I failed at taking notes on the vehicle factory.

I would definitely suggest reading the RichmondWiki history section.

One thing not well documented is the quarry. The sign posted at the site says prisoners carved giant slabs of rock out of the hill, but eventually hit the river in two places, thus flooding the quarry. It's now a huge pond with turtles and other aquatic animals.

Most of this journey I spent without a shirt and carrying a backpack, which only really provided me with one thing: looking sexy as the sweat made me glisten.

Oh, and while we're at it, one BIG turn off is the smell. So if you have the chance, go after it rains and is high tide, cause it can wreak like septic.

After about three hours of hiking and exploration, we finally made it to the rapids for some relaxation. There was a large party going on on the largest rock, and the alcohol level was so high you could smell it from a long ways off. We found a nice little area that wasn't festering and set up camp. Our area of rapids was rather strong, and provided for an interesting 'swim' as we kept taking turns being swept away. Always be sure you know where to put your butt.

As the sun went down, we quickly realized that you can't very well see the sunset from the isle, as there is a large population of trees on the river side.

Suggestions for you, should you plan a trip:
Ask your mother to make a list of “Things you might need on a swimming/hiking expedition.”
Pack light, or light enough that everyone in your party can carry everything for at least a mile one-way.
Bring lots of fluids. Frozen waters last about 3-4 hours and double as ice packs.
Plan for a long day. Cause you have to walk everywhere you want to go.
Bring anything you might need for the duration, since the closest convenience store is far off.

Mother's Freakin Day

Let me precede this with a note that I love mothers. And don't hate Mother's Day. Just this day, which happens to be from hell.



I am currently on the ferry going to work. I believe the end of this blog will take place after work.

Last night was a long night. I don't usually work more than 5 hours at a time at Bonefish, but last night it was Mother's Day Eve, so everyone and their mom was out eating dinner. I had an ungodly amount of work to do in a short amount of time. And Matt made it so no one could leave til everything was done. I don't mind the hours, and quite honestly don't mind the doing work part, but the making salads part is just not going well. My ticket times were getting high, mostly from the onslaught of orders in such a short time. I used almost everything I had in stock at my station, restocked and used it all again. That's a lot of tickers. Got a Creme Brule to go. I hate crème Brule to go. It came in and Matt said, “Do you know how to make a Cremem Brule to go?” to which I answered yes, and he said, “Good, cause I don't. Make it, and I'll handle these salads” Matt and I are similar, very similar. And he's kinda crazy. Told me last night that his mother dropped him on his head when he was a baby. It was out of a moving vehicle. Actually, it was more like he jumped from a moving vehicle onto his head.

We moved some tables after we closed. Some pretty heavy junk there. Trying to make some more seating for Mother's Day. Opened at 11, I missing the 11 ferry by 2 cars, and it's projected to be the busiest day of the year. Needless to say, I don't look forward to it very much. It's not that I don't like mothers, it's just that I don't want to deal with mothers' lunches being possibly not correct. There are so many ways to honor a woman, and making her food is one of them. But I never get any one-on-one with any customers. I'm so used to making the food, and seeing them, or getting feedback from the people, eating it.

Theres a lot of wind on the boat today. Lately theres been a large amount of sea spray while on the ferry. Today is not exception. I am currently getting pelted with water from the front, even though I am not the first in line. I guess I should be glad I'm not on foot or a bike. Or in a convertible. Or one of those jeeps with no doors.

____________________________________________

So now, over 12 hours later, I am laying in bed and not the least bit of me is in a pain-free state. As Dave said, “We got our asses kicked tonight. Everyone was a zombie at 7:30” and we closed at 9:40. Not only was it the busiest freaking day of the year, I had to stay there from an hour passed open to close. In my opinion, that was a bad move on the part of the management. You see, I was pretty much dead by the time Fonzy got there, and then instead of being my replacement, he just helped for a little bit then went to do something else that Matt had for him. Basically, instead of being like any other Sunday, it was awful. I also tore my thumb nail off, which hurt(s) really bad.
I promised [an unmentionable person] that I would blog about him spilling a ton of chowder on the counter / floor. He tried to pour it from a pan into a big pot, and it wasn't a successful transfer.
We moved those giant tables again. I basically took down and moved the whole dining room bu myself. Then got some help from Jo, Fonzy and Z-dawg on the tables. Even Mommy got involved and moved ONE BAR STOOL. The whole place is kinda creepy when it's empty and almost resembles a dance club. And I'm trusting Dave when he says this only happens once a year..

Birthday

A couple of days ago was Della’s birthday. Last night, we celebrated. So we had this cool cookout / picnic at Midcounty Park, which turned into a rather not fully-cooked fiesta.

In the hours leading up to this, I did quite a few things. I think the first event of the day was getting a shower. Then I went to New Harvest for some soup. Which was actually really good. It tasted sweet, and you added bacon pieces on the top so it was like OMG…….. The events of the afternoon were kinda hot. So obviously a half-priced frap from Starbucks was in order. In celebration for their new “make it how you like” fraps, they are having happy hour (3-5pm) till the 17th I believe. Pick your milk, your flavors, coffee amount, and voila. But just a heads up for all you chai lovers, you’ll need to add an extra pump or two to get the normal taste of chai cream frap. And do a good service to all those in the world that drink chai from Starbucks, and remind them to fully clean their chai pumps every night. It tastes bad otherwise.

I filled up my gas tank today, coming to a total of 19.6 miles per gallon. I was hoping for more, but what can you do? I use Shell gas now, cause I’m a sucker for progress. Not only do I pay out the ear for the same amount of gas, I actually believe that their gas will eventually clean all the gunk from my engine that other gases leave behind. And I also believe it will give me better gas mileage. So until I am proven otherwise, I will probably continue sinking my money in the hole of ill-gotten fuel prices. I suppose there could be another way to get more to the gallon, as one college physics group invented one car that got over 2700 miles to one gallon. I think if we even got a tenth of that awesomeness, we’d be in better shape to demand $10 a gallon.

Ever been to College Creek? I have. Just went there again today. Just take Colonial Parkway from 199, as the route from the Jamestown area is under construction. And as one man said while walking passed where we chose to sit for a bit, “It’s like your own private beach, eh?” Yes, sir. Private indeed. Not only is it within a mile of a federally and locally protected animal reservoir, a high security power facility, and viewable from more than 10 miles down river, it is a highly private location. It has a warning sign that urges you not to swim, as the waters are known to have very strong rip currents and the area is unfit for swimming. But what would anything with ‘college’ in the title be without a significant amount of rule breaking? If you get a chance to go, it’s a nice peaceful place. It’s pretty out-of-the-way, so there aren’t too many people there all the time. I obviously say that based on the two times I have been there and not seen more than fifty people.

So while we are at college creek, I get a call from Jason that he needs me to bring a lighter. Apparently the whole idea of a cookout was planned with the grill, the charcoal, the hamburgers, condiments, buns and no fire-creation utensil. Flint? Two sticks? Pure hydrogen and a car lighter? The sun? ( now you laugh at the idea of the sun being an instrument to lighting a fire, but just take the story Della told us tonight at dinner: A man walked into Starbucks asking for a cup of water. He was very calm and patient, waiting for this cup. When he was given it, he said he was going to use it to put out the fire in the mulch just outside the door. When asked if he threw a cigarette in it to cause said fire, he denied and blamed the sun for being so hot as to ignite the mulch) So in 15 minutes, we arrived on scene and helped ‘light’ the fire. The first time. It went out and we used a very large quantity of lighter fluid to get it working. Our burgers were ‘undercooked’ as everyone was so very quick to point out. Jason said he would never throw another picnic. Poor Jason..

The ending of this night was a viewing of Iron Man 2. I simply can’t understand why it would cost $10 for a movie ticket. I could, in a matter of months, wait and pay that amount to watch the same movie, not fight for lines or seating, and watch it many times over in the comfort of my home, with a pause button, unlimited snacks and drinks, and a private bathroom that I don’t feel awkward taking a dump in. Even still, a theatrical performance is stunning, with the size of the action being larger than life and the sounds coming from all angles, with bass so loud you can feel it in your stomach.

Iron Man 2 takes place immediately after the events of Iron Man, even going the distance to show the footage from the end a second time. It doesn’t take long to get into a lot of action, and good humor. And then some pervy humor. All within a good bounds. Russians, physics, electricity, race cars, bad guys, prison, out of prison, blood toxicity, fake good guys, stupid government, stupid bad guy, drones, The Ex-Wife, new elements, explosions, lasers, kissing, kicking ass, CEO, not CEO, crazy desk objects, dear-old-dad, Expo, and an eye patch. There also is a little segment at the end of the credits, as with the first movie, only this time it takes place in Mexico, and only gives a slight hint at the implied continuation of the story.
There were so many people at the showing that we had to buy tickets early in the day and still couldn’t sit in the same area. Which was fine.

So all in all, Happy Birthday Della

Scum

I thought this one deserved a little place in a blog. So the past few days, the ice cream freezer has been kinda funny at work. It had some melted ice cream in the bottom, and the giant tubs of ice cream were always soft. I thought it might ‘get resolved’ by now, but since it was still nasty last night, I decided to inquire about it. Dennis didn’t even know it was acting up. It had been unplugged for a while, I guessed, and there was melted ice cream in the bottom. The stench was unbelievable. I could barely hold myself from puking right there. Dennis said to clean it out. Ugh.. This thing weighs like 50 lbs and is on 4-inch casters. Bottom heavy, and 3 feet tall by (2 long and 1 wide) – it is not easy to tip over. So with the utmost precision I had to dump out the ungodly scented cream and rinse with hot water using a little bucket. Two rinses later I was able to stand it back up and proceed to wiping it out with water and then sanitizing solution. The smell never went away. I plugged it back in and cracked the lid to let it air out some. I swear if anyone spills something in there I’m gonna kill ‘em..

Oh hey, but the cool thing is that the other night I had a ticket come in for a Special Occasion, which is currently a brownie with Melba sauce, whipped cream, macadamia nuts and a sprig of mint. I made it look all pretty and put it in the window. Shortly after, another one came in and Dave came running around the corner saying, “Yo Sam, that last Special Occasion looked amazing. I’m gonna take a picture of this next one and send it to Dennis” Oh. Yeah.

In other news, I looked into Ubuntu 10.4 LTS this week. Downloaded the image and loaded it onto a laptop to test it. It mostly worked great except for no native wireless support. Which for me is a big deal. The other problem is that, since I was dual-booting with Windows 7, I would switch between the two to get some files on a flashdrive, etc.. but every time I went back into Win7 the touchpad wouldn’t work on first boot. So I had to reboot twice to use the mouse.
I shortly gave up on using Ubuntu and uninstalled. I was then looking at the website to see about downloading 9.10 (the latest stable version) but couldn’t find it. In the process, though, I came across Wubi.exe: a file to install Ubuntu within Windows, so you don’t need an extra partition. That got me thinking, and I put my 10.4 LTS disc back in. Within Windows there was an option to install Ubuntu. So I now have that set up. The problem with the wireless drivers and mouse drivers in Windows are still there. Though I‘ve read about using NDISWrapper in Ubuntu to get the Windows drivers working, I haven’t had any luck yet. I got all the components downloaded and installed, installed the drivers, and rebooted, but it still seems to have trouble. In fact, the Hardware Drivers Manager thing (that manages 3rd party proprietary drivers) still opened up and suggested 2 drivers: a generic, free licensed driver for Broadcom 43xx, and another version that was proprietary. I ended up doing the proprietary one, since it seemed to math the description of the wireless card. I now think that was a bad idea. Even after uninstalling it, it is the only option. The ‘free use’ driver disappeared. And with that NDIS stuff, I loaded two separate drivers and neither seemed to allow connections. Guess I’ll just have to fiddle with it a while.

So as I close here, I’ll say that Facebook’s blog import service sucks. I write a blog, post it on Blogspot at 8AM, and it posts 36 hours later on Facebook. I seriously have started writing my next blog by that time.

Kthnxbye

Ultramotion, super fast, every time that you walk past..

Who would have thought that cinnamon and raspberry would taste good together? Well, specifically cinnamon crunch bagel and raspberry cream cheese from Panera.

Can't seem to shake the idea of music from my life. And I mean, music being a majority share holder, in modern business terms. I don't want to let go of it. It drives me. I've posted about this before, and it stays true, if not even more relevant, than ever before.
My collection reached 7000 songs today.
My Wish List on Amazon (http://amzn.com/w/3BTPX6KQW7GJ7) is at almost 80 albums, which I think would cost me about $600.
I could probably buy a car with the money I've spent on music over the years.

My mom and I were talking about the future and she mentioned that if I don't have a specific direction in life, a unique burning desire to do something, then God might have had that in me. I have a large set of skills that I've acquired over the years of doing all kinds of things, but none of them are things I would want to build my life around. I tried doing computer work, I've been in kitchen prep since I was 8, and I still can't say I love doing either as employment. I like food, so I don't want to get tired of seeing and doing things with it. I already dislike salads cause I make so many. I think I might actually get as much nutrition from looking at the salad as much as I do as one would actually eating the salad.
The point of what she was saying is that God has given me interest and ability in many areas, and not letting myself become defined by what I do is a major goal. I've always had the word "nomad" in my head, and our topic at New Harvest the passed few weeks has been on Sabbath (rest) - not being defined, or gaining your worth, by your production, but not being lazy.

So what's wrong with traveling the world, working for others, and living free? Might say, "that's for some, not everyone.." so, yeah, maybe it is. But I can't shut down the idea of doing it just because it doesn't conform to the American Dream.

A guy at work asked me last night about sleeping with a girlfriend. He was shocked to know that I wouldn't do it until I was married. A few minutes later he asked if I wanted to. My response: "I'm a male."
Later he brought it up again, asking if he could ask why it was I would wait. I told him it was, for one, not something that Christians support. For two, emotions-based. I'm not just a little goody Christian that won't have sex. I took a class in college about interacting with other people. Actually it was Sociology of the Family and Relationships. In that class, obviously sex would crop up. And it was so interesting, just in our class, the different views of sex. A guy was cohabiting with his girlfriend for 6 years. A girl was marrying an older guy (like 20 years older) because they had great sex. One was a swinger. Several just didn't have any luck with their boyfriend / girlfriend. Some were waiting till after college to get involved with someone, so they could focus on their schooling. There was a large portion of the class that the teacher devoted to emotions. And sex was a big player in that game. Basically, I've heard enough stories to know it makes a difference.

I think that in our current culture, the rules of religion don't matter. It's mostly about pleasure. Even my mom said the other day, "it used to be easy: you had two options; go to college, or get married and get a job. Now, you can get a degree and spend years in school and still not get a job in your field." So the options aren't as minimal anymore. You can do whatever you want whenever you want. Pure freedom.

I think I need to read another book.

Impromptu

Earlier I posted about how the area near William and Mary is such a neat place. I haven't had much time to explore the area, but I certainly intend to keep it as a viable destination.

On this particular day, Heidi and I took a day off and went over to the Burg. Now we initially had planned on going to Virginia Beach, but for whatever reasons we didn't have time. So, since we didn't have any particular plans laid, we started to check off some things we had on our to-do list.

1) Coffee from Harbour Coffee in Newtown
Well, that was a fail. Cause they actually close at 5pm, and I could have sworn they were open till 9 on the weekends...

2) Also known as 1) Trader Joe's!
Everybody know that Trader Joe's has like a butt-ton of naturally-grown / raised products, the word "organic" also applies. Get chocolate, or I guess anything that would be inexpensive and yummy (oh yeah, like Danish Bleu Cheese) We got some dark chocolates. Now, be careful when you buy stuff, cause you have to read the price tags correctly. Paid $4 for what we thought was labeled $2.

3) Crim Dell
This was probably on our list the longest, and it takes up the most space in this post. We parked in P2 just behind W&M Bookseller (Barnes and Nobel) and walked up Duke of Gloucester St. to 'Confusion Corner' and on past the Wren Building on the college campus. Now, the ENTIRE walk there was full of amazing natural design, like trees and bushes, and several very old structures like statues and fences. About a quarter of a mile past DoG St. is the wood line, behind which lies the Crim Dell. Since the last time I had ever read instructions of how to find this thing, all I remembered was "straight line behind the Wren building" so.. that's what we did (sorta..) Found a path that led around to the left, and took that. Saw some benches next to dense woods, but ignored them. Around the left side we came to another road that seemed to circle the wooded area where the Crim Dell is. About halfway down that road we actually saw it, but since the road was rope-lined, we decided not to jump the guide. Down the hill is a paved road that goes over the little reservoir. From this point you can see, very well, the Crim Dell itself. Following another path that winds through some very dense forest, we found ourselves behind the area with the benches. Yet again we follow a path that leads right to the Crim Dell. It's a nice little area, and the ramps are rather steep. Legend has it (haha... legend...) "if you kiss your lover as you cross the bridge, you will end up marrying him/her, but if you cross alone, you are destined to be alone the rest of your life." Go try it? We didn't.
Around the area is also Wildflower Refuge, which has NO flowers, period. Theres also a bunch of other paths in the area, so it's not like you are limited on walking space. The campus itself takes up 1200 acres ( see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_William_and_Mary). And theres a whole ton of shopping in that area.
So on the way back to the vehicle, we stopped at this small memorial place or something. It's a small set of busts from the Tyler family, and on the front of the base of them are the names of descendants to attend William and Mary. We sat on the cement half-circle bench for a moment, and suddenly we weren't alone. A strange couple, the woman wearing long purple hair that went almost to her feet, and the man wearing a set of yellow bunny ears. The both approached in an odd manor, the woman slightly dancing. She proceeded behind us, he in front, stopping to give me a plastic egg, while she threw a handful of flower petals on us. Neither said a word and left immediately. So you can imagine the oddity and the list of things that could possibly be in the egg. We waited to open it till we were in the Jeep. So in my mind, I'm thinking maybe a spring-loaded snake would jump out, maybe anthrax.. seriously had NO idea what it was. So if you want to know what it was, ask ;P

4) Baker's Crust
I have seen a Baker's Crust before, in Richmond. Always thought it would be comparable to Panera, so I am glad to have checked it out. Now, I will automatically say it wasn't nearly as high-class as Bonefish, but it was a warm atmosphere (which the website resembles very well). Seemed to be a slow night, and being our first time in, felt a little out of place... The host guy took a while to even acknowledge us, and then he finally took us to a seat. The menu was large, with plenty of choices. I don't like expensive places, and this place wasn't much more than somewhere like Olive Garden. I think I made a bad choice on dinner, but it was still fine. I have almost fully decided that the best meal to get when eating out is a pasta-based entree with meat. Cause you can't get that at fast-food places, and you don't really want to make it at home. So aside from also taking a long time to get in and out, I would give it 3.5 out of 5.

5) ICE CREAM!!! Ben and Jerry's OH SNAP IT"S GONE!.. COFFEE!!! Starbucks THEY CLOSE AT 9:30 *whew*
Yeah. Starbucks.

6) Ferry
I almost shudder at adding either of the last two. I mean, Starbucks and Ferry were NOT on my list of things to do in life. But we did go there, and we did miss the 9:30 ferry by being 1 car passed the limit. So we walked back up to Jamestown and fought a mountain lion that Mary has been training the past few weeks. It was interesting though that those Blue Herons that live in the area like to land on the pier and don't mid cars, but dang, get within a hundred yards on foot and they get the heck outta Dodge.

Newtown is kinda cool. I think once WalMart pops in most people won't need to leave the area unless they get with others that, um, don't live in Newtown.. But I'm sure it's worth the $1500/month for 1100 sq. ft. town houses. I prefer cheaper and less crowded places to live.

On another note, the moon has been pretty amazing this week. Full, on rise, it has an awesome looking orange tone. Take a picture, or just take the time to look at it.

I can always be glad I don't have credit card debt

Haven't had coffee in a while, so this morning I drank some. It's actually a funny story. See, my dad goes to work sometime around 2am. Tuesday morning, dad left a few minutes before 2, and I got home a few minutes after 2. So while I was moping around and getting ready for bed when I noticed the coffee pot was still on and quite full. So, being that I don't like to let good stuff go to waste, I poured it all into a pitcher and put it in the fridge for iced coffee. Which was actually really good. So, shortly after I got to sleep, my mom gets up and starts her day. This morning when we all got back together and were talking, it played out that mom and dad make a pot of coffee for both to share over the course of the morning, and I came in the middle to "save" it. They also sent funny txts to each other talking about the coffee being gone. So maybe this whole thing is just an htbtm.

I finished the book "The Survivors Club" and also took the test that the author helped design to show what kind of survivor you are. It reminded me of Strengths Finder. I am apparently a thinker. ... haha..

I'm looking into getting a new phone. I think my mom said my contract ends sometime in August as well as my dad's. I still want something that is a smartphone, but don't have the money for something fancy. So I noticed the Palm Pixi. Guess I have a few months to think about it.

So I'm getting slightly used to working at Bonefish. It still seems like every night I work I get pushed to my limit. I think the one thing I don't like the most is the limited interaction with other people. Now, I mean I do get to talk to people, but it's almost always like this: _expo_"Mac-n-cheese! / Edamame! / Spring Mix!" _me_"heard"
And of course I get to BS with some random people, but it's not like any other job I've done where I can actually talk to someone about anything other than the last two hours and the next two hours to come. I am much more of an interpersonal person and don't like working alone. Guess theres a season for everything.

So I'm working with Access 2003 these days, trying to get proficient. It's actually been a very easy program to learn and play with, and I've had absolutely zero question of how to do things with it yet. Everything is so incredibly logical, and as long as you understand the terms used you can flow through it like whoa.
I remember talking to Libby's son at the memorial service for Bob. He said he works with Access at his job and that it's really easy once you get the front end up and running. Boy is he right. At the time I wasn't even looking at Access (or any database software for that matter) and actually had quite the daunting feeling about it. Now, it's like, meh.

I've had a little more time with my parents lately this past week or so. I like it. We actually interact with each other like normal people, which I guess hasn't necessarily been the case forever. It's not like we've had this eternal feud or anything, but it's more like the concept of 'mom and dad' wasn't the way it should be to me. And I think I am starting to value them more than just the people that tell me to do chores and make me go to bed on time. And dad would say, "Well I've been telling you this for years!" - and I can say that's true. But it's just that some things you /have/ to experience to truly get the full understanding of. I always narrowly look at life as almost cause-and-effect style, where everything is a formula and if you don't want the bad stuff just don't forget to cut the grass or something. But it's so much deeper and richer than that, and I can see how God developed life to be more than just a set of rules and "have-to's" - it's a thriving system of enjoyment through the knowledge of hard work and pain. You simply can't enjoy vacation if you never have to work. You can't enjoy health if you don't realize how valuable it is.
Here my dog is next to me. All he knows in life is sleep, eat, outside, sniff, pee, poop, inside, sniff, scratch, sleep, scratch, sniff, outside, inside, scratch, sleep, repeat. And he loves it. -- But we aren't animals.

In the bible, God gives a day of rest - we know it as the Sabbath day. At the time, the people who were told to observe this day were Israelites: the ones that escaped the slavery in Egypt. The Israelites had built an image of themselves through the years; they were taught that their value, their self-worth, their life, was based in how much they could produce, how hard they could work. This concept of a day of rest was to remind them that God doesn't value you more or less by the amount you produce: it transcends human expectation and understanding to a level where he loves you for BEING. The day of rest is a reminder that you weren't made to be a machine.
So while God did make a day of rest, he also made labor - the other 6 days of the week where you work. I've noticed that almost EVERYTHING that ever has an opinion has basically three options: person 1's view (extreme 1), person 2's view (extreme 2) and God's view (oddly perfect compromise) -- God balanced life so wonderfully.

Time for some music

Weblog; isn't that short for "blah blah blah"?

I've come to realize that coffee is best when enjoyed slowly, as opposed to a double iced latte in 3 minutes. I can imagine where it would be fine if /some/ people drank espresso on a regular basis (namely Italians and Patrick) but for the average good, bad and ugly American, a cup of brewed coffee is best. I happen to be one of those Americans. But don't let me fool you into thinking I have realized the error my ways and repented. God made the good and the bad, right? Helloooooooo indulgence.

I've been rockin out on my electric guitar. Finally bought those strings (for a whole $5) and a cheap amp from Walmart (on sale for $15) and a strap that doesn't say "Rock the heck On, Man!!" All in all I think I made out good, only spending about $30 and now having a functional electric guitar, with which I can make sick slides and riffs or melodious choruses. Ah.. diversity.

So I think the common expected thing from my blogs sometimes includes a challenge for all ye who believe. This week, we're gonna think about idle time. "We've got, got nothin but time on our hands, got nothin but, got nothin but.." I wish I could say every day of my life is perfectly executed; that I made the absolute best use of my time at every second. I think it's harder to ignore those times where we think, "oh yeah, that was definitely [insert amount of time] of my life that I'll never get back" than we think. And even harder still is how we then go about resolving that guilt we feel, if at all. Since getting this job at Bonefish Grill, I've been pretty much non-people. I work late hours, which makes me sleep late hours, which keeps me from doing much stuff.

It even drove me to the point of anger. The other night I was told by my immediate manager that he would, 'help me get out early tonight' which in turn never happened and I actually got stuck with more work than I ever had in a single night, and also missed the ferry. I was in a pretty foul mood for about 20 hours. It affected my sleep, I said some unkind things to completely unrelated people. It wasn't pretty. But something in me got back right when I was with people again. Part of my problem was loneliness. Work alone. Ferry wait alone. Drive home alone. No one awake at home. Wake up alone. Eat breakfast alone. Drive to the Center alone. All that alone time gave me time to THINK about how mad I was and get even worse. I thought sleeping it off might help, but it didn't really. When I finally got to people, I started out in a bad mood, which wasn't fair to them.

I read that people that have a significantly relationship with someone else have a similar chemical released in the brain as when you do cocaine. And even on just seeing a picture of that person, dopamine is released in the brain. I guess you could say that's part of my aid. I got to a familiar place, familiar faces, and after some time there I felt better. Then I got to work and was given the night off. That was all I needed to get me back up. I was seriously in fear of developing some sort of anxiety disorder, so much so that I talked to my mom about it. I never complain about personal stuff, at least I didn't till I started this job. I think it's something I am becoming able to handle. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and only 4 to break one. I am currently on day 19.

I have several times this week given God credit for the tasks I have had to do and the strength I've had to do them. I would suggest learning how to trust God.

semi-chronology. non-consequential [+PB]

Have I told you my story about how I got some peanut butter? Well oh em gee we have a tale here. So there I was in Target, just minding my own, looking at bikes with Haven, when suddenly this magical aisle appeared and on it was glorious quantities of food! I was shocked at the bundled goodies, when I noticed a duo-pack of Jif EXTRA CRUNCHY PEANUT BUTTER for the low value price of *clears throat*. I couldn't pass it up! I'm not at the Center eating this delicious morsel in between two slices of bread.

Once in my life, I was absolutely determined to get some extra crunchy peanut butter - to eat all by myself. I finally made it to a local wally-world and got a jar. Oh boy was I excited. On the way home I just simply couldn't wait to make a sandwich. We made something else for dinner, like pasta, so I had to wait till the next day to make my sandwich of miracles. So while eating dinner, we began to watch the local news. And what should come on besides a reporter covering the recall of peanut butter? They read the serial number range, and I promptly ran to my jar to find it was labeled with the afflicted numbers! Thus, tonight, I vowed not to watch TV until after eating at least one sandwich worth of my crunchy goodness.

Today I made progress on three jobs: an interview with Barnes and Nobel, an application and test for the census bureau, and an application for Sentera in Williamsburg. I feel I have made good progress. The census testing was pretty easy, but it took a LONG time..

My hands have been getting more and more cracked lately. This is typical of winter time. I asked Christy if she had any ancient Indian secret techniques to keep your hands from cracking WITHOUT the use of lotion, and she said no. But she did suggest not washing my hands. I happen to think that idea won't go well with the health inspector...

Lately one of the biggest investments I've been making is in this DVD that Mike and I are producing for the Ministry NOW! conference. I've been working on the same project for about a week now, and I keep finding things to do. I'm kinda getting dizzy and tired of it haha. But I think it will be well worth the effort and will look very nice. We found a good label for the disc (which is burned with Lightscribe so it's PERFECT), have a mostly-final case sleeve, and are probably 78% done with the DVD content.

Oh wow. Chocolate, peanut butter and mayonnaise. Simply phenomenal.

_short post_ ".. I just need some time to lick my wounds"

Was reading in the book "Wild at Heart" (that's the guys one, by John Eldredge) that there's a wound that guys get and never want to address. I wanted you to read this part.

Contempt for the Wound
"Men are taught over and over when they are boys that a wound that hurts is shameful," notes Bly. "A wound that stops a man from continuing to play is a girlish wound. He who is truly a man keeps walking, dragging his guts behind." Like a man who's broken his leg in a marathon, he finishes the race even if he has to crawl and he doesn't say a word about it. That sort of misunderstanding is why for most of us, our wound is an immense source of shame. A man's not supposed to get hurt; he's certainly not supposed to let it really matter. We've seen too many movies where the good guy takes an arrow, just breaks it off, and keeps on fighting; or maybe he gets shot but is still able to leap across a canyon and get the bad guys. And so most men minimize their wound. "It's not a big deal. Lot's of people get hurt when they're young. I'm okay." Kind David (a guy who's hardly a pushover) doesn't act like that at all. "I am poor and needy," he confesses openly, "and my heart is wounded within me" (Ps. 109:22).
Or perhaps they'll admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserve it. After many months of counseling together... I asked Dave a simple question: "What would it take to convince you that you are a man?" "Nothing," he said. "Nothing can convince me." We sat in silence as tears ran down my cheeks. "You've embraced the wound, haven't you, Dave? You've owned it's message as final. You think your father was right about you." "Yes," he said, without any sign of emotion at all. I went home and wept - for Dave, and for so many other men I know and for myself because I realized that I, too, had embraced my wound and ever since just tried to get on with life. Suck it up, as the saying goes. The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it.

He goes on to say we build a 'false self' and live within that world instead of addressing our wounds. Some of the excuses were things like, "People like me now.. they wouldn't like who I really am."

Like he said, the tragedy isn't as tragic as how we deal with it. The way we cover up and hide from our pasts is damaging. The only way to heal from these wounds is to open up to the fact that they exist. And just like a physical wound, it will take time to heal. And just like a broken leg that needs to be re-broken because it set wrong, it will hurt to bring it up again.

So I leave you with this: What are the wounds you have left hidden under a guise? How long will you wait to deal with them, and start the healing process?

I like free money

I was gonna download a free album before writing this, but realized the internet usage was almost at our limit and a CD download would put us over. Curses, foiled again.

And another thing, the word 'realize' has a 'z', just like how it sounds. But my phone's word completion feature ALWAYS spells it with an 's'. They fail.

I was listening to a song today called "Dirty and Left Out" by the Almost. If you haven't heard it, go listen to it on Rhapsody or something. It's got such an aura of confession, humility, and repentance that is hard to get over. "I've been dirtier than you'd want to know," and he incorporates part of a hymn (Jesus, Jesus, There's something about your name, Master, Savior, Jesus). Good song.

The big part of my day was a computer job. Local guy. Turned out great cause I made a ton on it and he wants me to come back at 6-month intervals to do upkeep. He has quite a large number of animals. Even a little parrot that sits on his shoulder when he sits down. How awesome. A little dog and cat that play with each other (and when they fight it's pretty loud but way funny). Two pit bulls that have huge tongues and plenty of saliva to share.. They would sporadically come into the office where I was working and try to get in my lap. I really really like big dogs. Something about how looking into their eyes, you can see both an amazing love and care for you, but also the potential for terror. Simply amazing. I was gonna get Heidi a great dane for her birthday, but apparently she doesn't like them??? (The last Great Dane to hold the world record as tallest living dog was Gibson, who was 3½ feet (107 cm) tall at the withers and 7 feet 1 inch (215.9 cm) on his hind legs. [thats from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Dane] I WANT A BIG DOG :D :D )

Goodness me. Today's interest topic is on originality. I'ma be the first to complain that I'm not good at being creative (I can manipulate stuff, but just not good at original material) So maybe you're like me. The main point is to get involved with your inner artistic expressions. Try to write how you feel, draw something with ink, sculpt, act, have an expressive conversation with a good friend. How does it feel when someone else knows you better than yourself? I find that kinda hard and hurtful. I mean, I know who I am, right? So how can someone notice something about me that I haven't?

Get out of your comfort zone a little bit, and maybe do something you are afraid of. But in all of it, get down to who you are. Look at yourself and say, "Who have I become? What am I now?"

Does that measure what you hoped it would?
What kind of stuff is like, "oops..."?
How does it make you feel to see what you are, or feel what you are, on paper?

This kinda fits with my previous statement about writing in a journal. I still suggest that.

Let this be a time for you to get to some happiness. Maybe draw out your aggression or anger on paper and burn the art and let the anger go with it. Maybe creatively write a joyous melody to sing to someone. Give a thoughtful note to someone. Hug a friend just for the heck of it. Tell someone that you love them.

And have a smile :)

Let today be a happy day

A black cloud hangs over our house

Just heard "No Better" by Sherwood on the Center iPod. I think it speaks volumes to family relations. Talks about a divorce, or at least a separation. Its from the kid's perspective. "I should have seen it coming I guess, you sleeping out on the couch, you on your half of the bed." How terrible is that feeling?

Whether one party is right or wrong is beyond the point here. In "Captivating" Stasi talks about the disruption a separation can have on a girl's emotional status. It says that even she is not capable to keep the relationship good. It makes her feel valueless. These emotions cascade through her life, causing her problems all through life that are very difficult to fix. Again, if you haven't read it, and you're a woman, please do.

I recently got a new journal. I was simply happy that it was a bound collection of blank pages that was only $4 and looked cool. I never really had much value for a journal, but I've been trying to make use of it (oh, and if you want to know who I *giggles* like.. like, more than a friend.. hehe *giggles*). I would encourage everyone to write in one. Not so you can have your emotions out for everyone to see, but to help you see where you are, and where you were back when. Ever so often I'll peruse my old blogs and see what I was feeling that day, or what concerned my interest, or what I was afraid of. I can see how far I've grown (by both grammar and vocabulary usage AND topics covered) and it encourages me that maybe I'm not perfect now, but it doesn't mean I'm doomed to fail forever.

[I almost burned my head on a candle when trying to get this book] In fact, I just read this morning, "Now, part of a man's fundamental reluctance to truly dive into the world of a woman comes from a man's deepest fear, failure" She goes on to say that men want to help, but only to a certain point. Even in marriage or long-term relationships, there comes a point where they almost say, "I think this is far enough. I'm not going to leave you, so you should be happy with that."

I think it's time for men to really step up to their A-game. When God made the world (up to Adam) He noticed there was just one thing missing to top off creation. It was Eve, the woman in the picture. Such a vitally important part of life. She is not only the only way to reproduce humans, but she has 'Relationship Expert' written on her forehead and an emotional comprehension that men are glad they can't access (let's face it, it's too much for guys)
Let's start fighting for the women. Lets start complimenting them instead of being passive or rude. Treat them with respect and dignity and honor.

And women, accept the compliments. Who cares if you're hair isn't perfect? I thought it was just fine, so smile and be happy you are pretty. Don't abuse our respect and honor. You are lovely creatures, so act like it

_short post_ I never was good at advanced math, only the stuff that mattered

Not sure if you've ever tried to sing when your sick. It's kinda fun. You try to hit that note and its just not gonna happen.

Was going through the songs in my collection that need to be rated (yeah, I'm still not done with it and I started like, 4 months ago? I've added a ton since, too so I'm never gonna finish, but heck..) The one that was next was Israel Houghton. I don't exactly care to listen to much of that all the time, but I think it was rather good therapy. Soothing gospel-style melodies and just a free atmosphere presented in the recording.

And did I mention that Jesus would not live in this cold of a place?

In the course of reading this book (Captivating) I've been learning to appreciate some things about both men and women. If you haven't read it, I would suggest you do (especially if you're a woman. If you're a man, I'd say get Wild at Heart first, and then maybe you can read Captivating [might I add they are by John Eldredge, and Stasi Eldredge])

I posed the question, "What do you feel is the pinnacle, the summation, the goal of your life?" to someone the other day. I'd be interested in hearing from you (the reader) what you think. No wrong answers (but I might pick on you in later blogs! only kidding.. :P) - just add a comment and let me know what you think.

Some examples to prime your pump:
"I think when I have worked long enough and the government says I can retire, that will be the pinnacle of my life"
""I don't think you ever really reach a pinnacle until you die. You are always living, and always serving others until you die"

Death is a stranger with tricks up his sleeves

"No one's gonna find us here. They don't know to look; the rescue is comin"

The other day I was talking to this odious, foul, unfeeling man about our 'agree to disagree' pact on the whole Iraq war. Haha.. It funny cause we have same opinion. And then later that night Rob Bell said, "Can you think of anyone who's just been amazingly, beautifully made?.." and we rekindled our feelings and now are perfectly good friends again. *heart*

Today's order of business has been to successfully open and operate (yes, I spelled that right after 13 tries..) the Center for a few hours, set an appointment with a dude to fix his PC, and apply for as many jobs as I could. I also had time to txt people and read another chapter of "Captivating: Unveiling the Mysteries of a Woman's Soul." Don't judge me. You haven't read it and now you're jealous.

I've been getting 'word of the day's for a few weeks now, and I find them kinda funny (especially the ones from Oxford English Dictionary Online, cause it's mostly words we use everyday with the British usage defined) Today I added dictionary.com's w.o.t.d and also got to play a fun little game! They would give clues and you had to guess the word before your little cave man fell into the water (from guessing incorrectly or taking too long to guess) - which was totally bogus cause it would give clues like (7 letters) "Perspires; of mammals" and the answer is 'sweater' since we always use definitions like that. There was one really annoying one cause even when I saw the answer the clue still made no sense..

Anywho. I've been sick-ish lately. Woke up with a little gaggy throat action and kinda wore it off through the day. I think our house is dry (or at least my mom thinks our house is dry and I say whatever she says is cool)

-----MEAT-----

I had a good talk with dad the other day. I love that phrase "the other day" cause it can stand for any gap of time from then till now. Brilliant. But in our talk dad was instructing me how to appropriately apply for a job and nag them till they're eyes bleed and give you what you want or send you away. In most basic and honest sense: making yourself stand out of the crowd in the most professional way. It means a lot to me to hear his knowledge. He'll say things like, "Half of what I say you won't remember" or "You're probably thinking 'What does dad know?? He's only dad, it's not like he's a genius or anything..'" - It kinda hurts when he thinks that's how I think of him, but I also hurt a little when I find myself in the midst of trying to prove him wrong: to secretly unmask another way that maybe dad was holding out on, or maybe he never learned and I want to be better than him.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to 1-up your dad. What's wrong is circumvention of his will. Isn't it so obvious when you tell someone to do a certain thing and they come back exclaiming they 'accidentally discovered another way' that they never even trusted your first instruction enough to try it out once? That's how it is with dad. Obviously his way worked, so what's wrong with me keeping that as a backup plan in case my theoretically better way doesn't pan out? It's wrong, and I've been through it. Maybe there are some things my dad doesn't know, but it's not for me to test his authority.

I feel so good when I make dad proud. Like, this is my dad, and he's proud of me. Proud of me. Proud of something I did. He put his approval on my work. He condones my efforts. I've grown up, I'm becoming like him, I'm gonna be as awesome or more awesome than my dad, and he likes it.

I don't know how your relationship is with any of your parents, but LIVE IT UP. Make the most of it. No, they aren't just people you HAVE to deal with till you can move out. Be willing to brighten their day